I am a optimistic pessimist, an angry happy person, a negative positive.
I have been neglecting this blog for a couple of reasons, the biggest one being that I feel the urge to write about negative experiences and angry feelings.
I watch the news on a regular basis, and it is no secret that the news is primarily bad. Good news just isn't as important. It is a sad truth that I think we struggle with as a whole. Good news is mostly considered a "puff piece."
Happy people are thought of as being fluffy and light. Balloons and parties come to mind. And sunshine and laughter. Nothing too serious.
Hard news is serious. Hard people are serious. People who do not smile and seldom laugh are worth hearing. They are the subjects of the news in social circles. The smilers, on the other hand, are the puff pieces, the gossip.
Maybe this is the source of the urge.
I am fighting the feeling that only my negative experiences are blog worthy.
I have spoken many times about a struggle of mine. I have problems being taken seriously and being respected. I find it frustrating, and I am trying to reclaim it; I am trying to turn the negative into a positive by capitalizing on this public image. This is difficult.
The child in me wishes we only reported the positive stuff....maybe the bad stuff would just go away....hiding from a monster by closing my eyes.
And all of my terrible experiences with people, money, politics....they want to rush out of me. This overwhelming urge to share these...well, complaints, to get everything off my chest...
It makes me incredibly human, you know? To want to find others who have suffered with experience, big and small. Deny it and lie: we all want to belong.
But maybe I can keep pointing out the things I like: the beauty of a day like today, the sweetness of my canine friends, the kindness and intelligence of my fiance.
There is so much about this world that needs to be taken seriously. There is so much about me that needs to be taken seriously. There is so much about love and happiness and light and good health that we should think about....and therefore, take seriously.
